She's Freaking Hannah Montana Dude!
by The Hannalizer
Summary: Dean and Sam meets the actress Miley Cyrus, a sixteen year old nymphoman who wants to have sexual intercourse with the brothers at the same time. IS DEAN A PEDOPHILE? Citrusy crack pairing, oneshot. C&C!


_A/N: Okay, I wrote this purely in fun, I do not feel any hatred or something toward Miley Cyrus. :P And yeah, this story will get (very) dirty, so, be warned! _

Sam and Dean sits in a coffee shop in a small town. Dean slurps loudly when he drinks his slushy, while Sam sits across the table with a newspaper and his laptop, trying to find some demonic stuff to vanquish.

"There's a guy who have hung himself in Philadelphia," Sam says, but Dean doesn't seem to listen.

Then a really hot chick steps into the coffee shop and Dean checks her out. She's blond, and tall, and slim. She wears a short, pink skirt with high cowboy boots and a luscious pink strapless top. Dean smiles a bit crookedly and lifts his eyebrows in approval.

"Hey, dude," he says, "it's Hannah Montana."

Sam slowly lifts his gaze from the laptop and looks at his brother like "what the fuck?".

"Who?"

"Hannah Montana, dude! The best of both worlds!" Dean exclaims like Sam is totally ignorant. "How can you not know about her?"

Sam shrugs and says:

"You are the one who jerks off to Busty Asian Beauties dot com."

Dean ignores him and leans back against his seat and checks her out again. She turns around and meets his gaze. She takes her sunglasses off and smiles a shiny white smile. He nods at her and smiles just enough for her to know what he really wants.

The next thing she does is to order something at the counter. Dean doesn't take his eyes off her and Sam tries to get his attention, and tries to tell him that she is a minor, when he looks her up at Wikipedia. Dean ignores him of course.

After having ordered a mocha latte she walks up to Dean and Sam and says:

"Hi guys!"

Dean just nods and smiles. Sam looks at him in confusion and suddenly Dean says:

"Have you met my brother?"

"Oh, hi!" she says and shakes Sam's hand.

"I'm Sam Winchester," he says and smiles awkwardly, "and this is my brother Dean."

"Oh, brothers," she says. "I'm Miley."

"Yeah, I've seen your show," Dean says, totally admiring her.

"Oh, really? Aren't you a bit too old for that?" she giggles and shifts her weight to one of her hips and plays with hair.

Dean still stares at her in total approval and liking. He shrugs flirtatiously.

"So, what are you guys up to? Are you from here?" she asks, and Dean understands immediately what she really wants.

"We're hunters and no, we're just passing by this town."

"Oh, but if you guys aren't staying, you should take your time to come over to my trailer before you leave," she says and blinks rapidly, but pretty.

"Yeah, that'd be cool," Dean says and looks at her boobs.

"What does your dad say?" Sam asks suspiciously.

"Whatever, it's my life," she says cockily and flips her hair. "Here's my card," she says and puts it in Dean's chest pocket. Then she turns around and walks away.

Dean whistles silently when she has left.

"Damn," he says.

"Dude, she's sixteen," Sam says, disgusted by his unbelievable brother.

Dean lifts his eyebrows in surprise, but doesn't seem to be concerned about it.

"She sure looks older. I mean... Damn Sammy."

A couple of days later Dean gives Miley a call. Sam still disapproves.

"Hi sugar pop!"

"_Hi Dean!"_

Dean smiles.

"So yeah, do you want me to come over?"

"_What about your brother?"_

Dean furrows his eyebrows and can't believe what he hears.

"Sammy? Really?" he asks, shocked.

Sam slaps his own thigh and exclaims "oh come on!" Dean ignores him.

"_Yeah, I wouldn't want to miss out on one of the Winchester brothers..."_

"Oh, okay... So you... Want..."

"_It's just sex, Dean. I've always had a fantasy of two brothers at the same time. Make my dream come true, please."_

Dean muffles the phone with his hand and whispers to Sam:

"Dude, she wants us both!"

"Really? At the same time?" Sam says.

"Yeah!" Dean says like it's the best idea ever.

"That's sick man!"

"Come on, she's really hot, you saw her!"

"I don't know... I don't feel comfortable doing that."

"So it's settled then," Dean decided and took the phone to his ear again and said to Miley, "We're in."

Later that day, they are on their way in the Impala to Miley's trailer.

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this. It's just so wrong," Sam says in disbelief.

"No, it's not. It's going to be fun!" Dean says and punches him on the shoulder.

Sam rubs his arm and says seriously:

"She's still not even legal, Dean."

Dean laughs chivalrously before he answers:

"Hey, she's legal in Sweden."

Sam shakes his head.

"Dean! This is _not_ Sweden! We can go to jail by this!"

"Makes it more exciting, huh? I've always fantasized about a jail bait," Dean says, completely at ease, with a dreamy smile on his face, then he parks the car by the road.

"You're unbelievable..." Sam mutters and steps out of the car and shuts the door angrily.

"I know right?" Dean agrees happily and walk up to Sam, who rolls his eyes. "Oh, come on, dude! This is going to be awesome! She's freaking gorgeous too!"

Sam doesn't answer and just stares ahead of him, his lips tightly pressed together in a thin line.

"Oh, Sammy! I know you'll like it... And I promise, I won't touch you," Dean says and lifts his palms up to demonstrate his innocence.

"You won't even dare to look at me," Sam says and stares him out.

Dean pats him on the shoulder.

"That's my boy, I knew you would give in."

Dean knocks on the front door to the trailer. Sam looks pained and bothered but Dean shines of happiness.

Miley looks to be at least eighteen. She wears another outfit today; hotpants and an even smaller and tighter top then yesterday. Dean whistles silently. She smiles at them and says:

"Come on in, guys."

When they follow her in, Sam whispers to Dean:

"This isn't right..."

"Just enjoy, Sammy," Dean encourages.

The trailer looks expensive and the interior is filled with pink, fluffy things. There's a huge bed with magenta pillows and a fluffy cover.

Miley turns around and says:

"So, this is where I live now when I'm on tour."

Then she suddenly steps closer to them and puts her hands on their groins, almost gripping their balls.

"So, how do you guys, want to do this?" she breathes in their ears.

"Your way," Dean says and leans in to kiss her neck.

She moans and tilts her head back. Dean puts his hand on her boob and squeezes it. Sam stands stiff and doesn't really know what to do. Miley takes a tight grip of the collar of his shirt and pulls him closer to kiss him. His kind of reluctant at first, but then he loosens up and lets her put his tongue in his mouth. At the same time Dean is kissing and sucking on her neck, biting her shoulder and squeezing her boob harder and harder as he gets more and more horny. She caresses them to stiffness and leads them slowly toward the bed. Even Sam follows without any doubt.

She pushes Sam down the bed and pulls his shirt off and he closes his eyes when she starts kissing his chest. Dean continues with caressing her body and helps her take off her hotpants, reveling a small pair of black underwear, barely covering anything at all. He touches her butt-cheeks while she helps his brother take off his pants. Dean takes off his jeans himself and starts touching himself while he caresses her most sensitive spots softly. She moans, and moves toward Dean's hand, it makes him want to feel her more. He is barely aware of Miley giving Sam a blow job when he takes off her panties as he puts two fingers inside her and she pushes herself toward him, to make him go deeper.

"Damn, you are nice," Dean says and pulls his fingers out to instead put his quivering cock toward her entrance, but stops there to see how she reacts. She presses herself toward him, and that's all he need to know before he pushes himself inside her.

Sam plays with her hair as she takes him deep down her throat. Her eyes is closed, but suddenly she opens her eyes and lifts her gaze toward Sam. And her eyes is completely black.

Sam bites his tongue. He can't say something – what if she bites his dick off? He have to let Dean know what's wrong, but not so she notices. He has to try to think some way to say their codeword for demon, without her suspecting anything. Or maybe she had let him see what she really is

She closes her eyes again and Sam tries to get Dean's attention, but he doesn't seem to see him. He's all concentrated in boning her from behind. Oh, why did he tell him not to look at him before? This was a stupid idea.

Sam wonders where his pants was... He had a small bottle with holy water in one of the pockets.

"Oh, yeah, that's so good," Sam moans, "you sure are _lovely_."

Dean reacted in the way Sam said lovely; that's their codeword for demon. Dean starts to look at what Sam does to find a good time to fight her. His brother has his hands by her head, probably getting ready to push her away so she won't bite his cock in half. Then she lifts her mouth from Sam's dick to swallow and as quickly as they can, they push her away and Dean throws himself toward Sam's pants. Miley's eyes turns completely black again and she moves unnaturally fast and suddenly she straddles Sam and hits him in the face. Sam hasn't got the strength to stop her.

Dean finds the bottle and throws some liquid on her. She shrieks and Dean knocks her off of Sam.

"Who are you?" Dean roars and splatter her some more.

"If you kill me and send me back to hell Destiny will die!" she threatens.

"Who's Destiny?" Dean demands and splatter her some more.

Miley screams again and then smiles viciously and points at her body. Or, _the_ body she's possessing.

Sam gets up to his feet and finds a pole in Dean's bag which he grabs to threaten the demon with.

"You bitch!" Dean screams and continues to splatter her with holy water.

Sam lifts the pole to kill her, but Dean stops her.

"Come on dude, you can't do that!"

"What? Why?"

"She's freaking Hannah Montana, Sammy! We can't kill her!"

Miley, or the demon, smiles victoriously.

"You know, if I wanted you guys dead, you'd be dead by now," she says and stands up. "My dear dad, or, Destiny's dad, wanted fame, and I have given him fame. I don't do anything demonic, guys... I feed on sex, fame and drugs... And sometimes blood and seamen," she tells them. "I'm harmless."

"Just let us go," Dean says, "and you can continue your demonic, fabulous life."

"Dean! She's a demon, we have to kill her!" Sam hisses in his ear, but Dean is admiring Miley too much.

"Your father says hi, by the way," she says and disappears in a big cloud of smoke.

"What the fuck, Dean?" Sam says. He's very angry, which makes him flare his nostrils and presses his lips together tightly.

"But she's freaking Hannah Montana, dude!"


End file.
